Tuesday to midnight ...
I wake up in fear, thinking
even to them.
She, my ex. It
the sentence. It
, idleness it generates.
She, the guilt comes with it. It
, fear of idleness.
it, I try not to elevate to a phobia.
I tried many times in my life, but I'm not used to being bored, feeling like nothing to fear and loneliness. Before the trouble, my moments of wandering remained creative ...
"I envy people so busy
Me too i want a reason to be pressed
But I feel that the arrival
Life is a mirage sunny"
( Never Faker, 2004)
At that time, even when I did not know where I went, I was doing something else, I had music and words in the soul.
These days, my best moments of solitude are offered to me by facebook and other blogs. I hope that my constant favorites pushers give me something, from a funny video to tickets more substantial. I consult morning afternoon-evening, according to my free time, until they go off one after the other, until they returned the next day.
I specify "according to my free time," to reduce the degree of guilt and I keep hoping I have a lot of fun doing stuff with others, to see friends, work. .. it's the solitude I fear!
I wonder when idleness is the mother of all evil?
I would stop criticizing my loopholes, let me right at this time unclear, to silence the voice that not only tells me to "do something", but in addition, I lectured constantly on the property validity of what I'm doing.
The rationale ... Zmmm! Feeling something, is not it enough already?
I hope that in retrospect, I realize that the little things I do as the days have helped me get through this difficult time for me to dive in an exciting new episode (and the cheesy watches ben's coming) of the great book of life!
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