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under the cold finally


in the cold remains of a burnt house tornado

a girl traveling in the cold


I cling

eyes closed that you tear

in the cold
my heart to shreds
en route to the emergency
in a bucket of ice in the cold


I hold in the cold



I lose you in the cold I'll cry
harmless
that you do not wear
whole weight of my pain in the cold


man and keep promises
in the cold
I stay the same

I understand you still
and despite everything, I love you but I must survive
a bit cold in the

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rabies

It's taken a few months. At 4:00 that night, I awoke with the desire to demolish everything. Furniture, dishes, books, walls, fragile items or fine, the new, the old memories. Reduce to bits until there are more of us. More than you. Nothing. Never again.

I was not home. It is urgent. I crawled through the back door. I ran to the park like a stoned me bleeding lungs and weeping of the bile.

When I was there, I pulled everything I could to beat everything I've found, trees, flowers, nature, concrete, metal studs. And if I could catch something live, I would have liked. Tear the wings, legs. Popping eyes. Hurt.

The bulk of the crisis is over, I went through turmoil in chopping wood, throw rocks or branches in the water or anywhere. With a stick, I struck at random. I spilled what was overturned on the walk piétonière.

I met a man with his dog. He greeted me. The dog was afraid. Me too. Do not provoke. For not killed on the spot. Instinct.

The dog looked away. I breathed.

A little later, I found a dead snake covered with ants. I crushed his head with my foot. Liquid sound. The ants were crawling over the corpse and returned. I had a chill.

...

I do not know at what stage of grief is anger. I would bet that I do things in order. It's chaos. This is normal. Trees thank you, thank you dog, snake, ants. Excuse me, I was full of molten lead. It was time. And we avoided making worse.

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sunny side up

Lately, I flirted with the rather dark side of the force, but this morning I take my eggs sunny side up and a juice glass half full rather than half empty.

The bar owner, in telling us that our contract will not be repeated next year, we nevertheless praised for our work and our efforts and has not broken the current contract. 6 months stay ... life after made his way eventually.

Many more people than I had imagined my setbacks are sensitive to and show all sorts of ways. Immense gratitude and sober, not to spoil the moment. A sincere thank you like a deep sigh of relief.

weekend, taking the road with the band, I was everywhere at once. I resumed the road to all the places we've visited and which remains to be seen. I smile in my heart, happy to be with these guys to go play this music. We can not say, but we love each other.

When we return, there was a message in the inbox of our website:
"(...) I saw you the first time 2 years ago and I was totally reversed, touched and I had one wish was to have another opportunity, as soon as possible, to see you again ... It took 2 years for this opportunity will present ... And I felt the same pleasure, even delight, the same spell as the first time ... I believe that heaven, for me it is a bit like this ... A kind of state of grace ...

course, there is the work of Dede, whom I adore. But it's much more than that, I heard other people sing and Dede Naughty and it had nothing, really nothing to do with energy, magic, the current flowing between you and the talent, the talent that lies within each of you and which forms a indescribable touches the body, heart and soul ... "

I sent a thank you. The answer to my two-line message is also and above all a response to ten years of questioning everyday
" Thank you for taking the time to answer my message is really a nice gesture more than ... I really appreciate that, above all, do not change, you're a particular being, a being of light, with an energy and uncommon sensitivity and also a great generosity on stage ... and that's rare, really rare ... Do not stop the music and the stage, we would lose a lot and you too, I think ... "

Big Fucking Worl Wide Web has made more honorable Amanda on this one. And as an extension of that, by a curious coincidence, here tonight, I replay my songs!

Obviously, with only one day of preparation, I have a little afraid of how it will happen. But I hate pouting life, when she made a swing at me, I want to forgive its dairies and open arms. I shiné Loading Zoom

my sad songs. Too bad if they clash with the place and the group that will follow. I'll be there. Also around that I can be. My shadow in one hand, my light in the other ... open mic, open mind, open heart: sunny side up.

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tiles accumulate

Two years ago, I abandoned my plan of compounds. Difficult decision I have taken yet almost on a whim, suddenly perceiving that the momentum is not sufficient if the heart is left behind.

Then there was the closing of my favorite site. Small incident on the Big Fucking World Wide Web, it has had on my life a major impact since I found myself overnight without showcase for the creation, I fueled strong interest in it in my work.

few months later, my collaboration with the magazine ended. The fault in this crisis, I was told. Since I'm not paid to write.

Then, coinciding with the removal of my brother and his girlfriend in Sherbrooke, there was my girlfriend's departure for Holland, which led to the break which I have already said enough.

In all this, I did not say anything about my relatives, they are far from being in peak form. And here

yesterday, the bar manager who uses my band for two years tells us gently that is probably clear. Must still wait for the boss's call, but my instinct is already nose mouth so it stinks. 25 shows a year less. So much for the contract, it used one-way, the boss. It was also clear that we saw last month, we're not at our best. Ah, well, you notice? My girlfriend left me a morning show.

tiles accumulate. I have a hard head but with one knee, I really do not need another shovel full pear. It starts be blurry movie of my life, and I see the floor very near the ring. The referee shouts of things but his voice is lost in the terrible resonance World Wide Gong.

I struggled for this project here. I struggled for everything. And everywhere, EVERYWHERE, I was told the same thing: "you're really good, BUT ...."

dint of being "really good BUT, we ended up wondering if we will ever really good enough and if it is really worthwhile to invest in whatever it is. My pen

lead does not fly high. Provided that not rain, I'd be too heavy to float.

So I am a pact with life: fucking me alone for a few months time to get a makeover, lose my number, go spank also annoy someone else, take a vacation, I'm disgusted there.

And while you're taking requests, then give leave to Haitians and make closing factories of oil spills. Everyone strength, do your part.

And if you still do the miraculous, is expected to call the boss of the bar this week.

I hope tenacious, but câââlice

... By the way, call me, not anyone, I am going to bed!